How do we forgive? – Does Jesus want us to be wimps? – Matt. 5: 38-42

Forgiveness is important to Christians, but it’s not just God’s acceptance of us that we celebrate. ‘Forgive us and we forgive others’, we pray. Forgiving others gets fleshed out by Jesus in the passage we read this morning. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, offer the other one too. If someone takes your coat, give them your tunic as well? Forgiveness, according to Jesus, seems to be about being a wimp. Jesus seems to be saying that we should be passive doormats that open our hearts to others to be trampled on. For example, when someone stole little 12 year old Mark’s bike he complained to his parents, “I hate what Jesus says about giving away your cloak when someone steals your coat. I just want to get back at whoever stole my bike. I want them to fall off the bike and really hurt themselves”. He felt hurt and he wanted the thief to hurt too, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. But Jesus asks us to follow another way. He says we have to give up our desire to get even and we have to forgive, but what does that really look like? Do we really have to be wimps?
I want to look at Jesus’ advice a little closer – I want to do a bit of Bible study.
An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth – no says Jesus there is another way. If someone hits you on the right cheek offer the left as well. I wonder why he specifies the right cheek? Well, imagine you are a poor slave in ancient Israel and your Master is facing you and wanting to put you in your place. He can not use his left hand to hit because that is used only for unclean tasks. I won’t go into details, but if you’ve spent time in the Middle East or in Muslim counties, you’ll understand. In order to strike you on the right cheek, the Master has to hit you with the back of his hand. In Jesus’ culture a back-hander had a very specific meaning. It was used by people in power to humiliate someone. Masters back-handed slaves, Romans back-handed Jews, husbands back-handed wives, and parents would back-hand children. The message was simple – “you are beneath me and I’m putting you in your place”.
But notice what happens when you offer the left cheek. The striker must still use his right hand but no longer can he back-hand you. It’s got to be a hit with the open hand, and that’s a hit reserved for equals. By turning the other cheek, you are actually reclaiming your dignity, refusing to be humiliated. You are saying something very powerful. Hit me not as an inferior being but as an equal.
The next image reinforces the theme. If anyone takes your coat, give him your cloak as well. It sounds a bit strange to us but in the poverty ridden times of Jesus, garments were often the only thing people in poverty owned. The scene is probably set in a courtroom and the defendant who has lost everything is being asked to turn over their coat or outer garment to help repay a debt to someone we would call a loan shark. The scene was depressingly common in Jesus’ time, but Jesus’ advice is dramatic and stunning. Offer your “chiton” as well. This is usually translated as undergarment, but your “chiton” in effect is your underwear. The result is startling as you give your outer cloak and then proceed to strip naked. The greedy creditor suddenly finds himself in an embarrassing situation because public nudity was shocking. Instead of taking the garments, the creditor will now be giving them back and urging the loan defaulter to cover up again. Notice who has the power now, and whose side those watching are now on.
The passage continues with another image that was familiar to the listeners. “If anyone forces you to go one mile, go also a second mile”. In Palestine at the time the Roman occupying soldiers were allowed to ask locals to carry their packs. It was a form of forced labour, but the Romans were very careful not to push things too far, and limited the amount of forced labour that could be inflicted. One mile of pack carrying was the limit. Any more pack carrying from one individual could get the solider into trouble. So, imagine the scenario.
You’ve just carried the heavy pack for a mile along the Roman road where there are markers every mile. The solider, knowing the rules, knows when the mile is up and says, “OK I’ll find someone else, you can get lost now”. But you say, “no. no, it’s OK, I’ll continue to carry your pack. Very happy to be of service to the Emperor!”. Suddenly the Roman solider is worried. The rules are clear and he’s begging for his pack back. Again, notice what’s happened in the relationship and who has the power now.
Jesus talked of forgiveness that renounced vengeance and getting even. No more an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, but he doesn’t want us to be wimps either. Jesus doesn’t want us to be doormats who simply roll over when people put the boot into us or treat us as rubbish. Jesus asks us to find creative ways to expose the injustices and really make things right again.

Six-year-old Sam had agreed with Diane, his mother, that his chore would be to set the table each evening in time for dinner at 6 o’clock. Two evenings in a row the table was not set on time. Each time Diane discussed the situation with Sam. On the third evening, at 6.15 the table was still not set. Sam’s hungry sister and father impatiently offered to do it so Diane could serve dinner. Diane said, “If you help Sam by letting him take advantage of us, you won’t really be helping him or us”. Diane cheerfully asked the whole family to sit down at the table. She brought a pot of spaghetti from the kitchen and plopped a pile of it down on the bare wooden table in front of each person. Then she piled spaghetti sauce on top, and salad dressing on top of that. Maintaining a calm, friendly and non-shaming attitude, Dianne finally brought out the frozen yogurt dessert and put some on top of each person’s spaghetti. As astonished Sam had to eat his food without plates or silverware, he experienced the logical consequence of his failure to set the table. From then on, Sam set the table on time!
A wealthy slum landlord had exploited his tenants for many years by charging them excessive rent for substandard housing. Finally he was arrested for numerous violations of the housing code. The judge sentenced him to live for one month in one of his own rat-infested smelly rooms with broken pipes and no heat.
Forgiveness is not about being a wimp. Forgiveness requires courage and creativity as we see those who hurt us not as enemies to be punished, but as God’s children who need to find another way. Forgiveness is hard work, and sometimes we simply won’t have the energy. It sometimes takes a long time. Invariably it will take prayer. We need the creative spirit to guide us and encourage us. The result however is worth it as we make new friends, and we all draw a little closer to the kingdom of heaven.
Matt loved to grow tomatoes in his section next to a lane in his neighbourhood. His tomatoes were doing well and he was excited as the little green balls steadily increased in size and began to change colour. The next day, however, the about to be harvested tomatoes vanished. The neighbour told Matt he’d seen four children run down the lane having a tomato fight. Matt knew the kids because a month before he’d confronted them about throwing bottles in the alleyway and creating a sea of broken glass. He was furious. “First it was the glass and now the tomatoes. Next they’ll be breaking into my house!” He fantasized about punishing them by having them weed and water the garden to make amends, but he realized that wouldn’t work. He thought of telling their parents and knew they’d literally beat some sense into them. As he prayed about the issue he realized that actually something deeper was required. As he visualized the kids in prayer with God he saw them not as little “b’s” but as fellow human beings that were also special to God. He found peace in the idea that, “I will forgive the kids if they learn responsibility and begin contributing something to the neighbourhood”. But how….there were other acts of vandalism in the street and word was that these kids were responsible.
Matt kept praying, and it occurred to him that these kids were like they were because their parents were often not at home. They were latch key kids. Most had only Mum at home and she was having to work long hours just to survive. The neighbourhood was good at criticizing and ostracizing them. Matt tried to imagine life for these kids and to walk in their shoes. In prayer with God he hatched a plan.
A week later he saw the kids in the lane outside his section. He consciously tried to get out of his head his negative thoughts towards them and to see them as God’s precious children. Holding that attitude in his heart he called them over. He thanked them for not breaking any more bottles in the lane and then said, “You see these tomatoes I’m trying to grow. I found them all smashed. Mr Jones over there told me some kids were having a tomato fight. I don’t know who did it, but I’m hoping you might help me by protecting my garden and sharing my tomatoes when they’re ripe. If no more tomatoes disappear, each of you can have all the tomatoes off one plant. What do you think?”
The way of Jesus means:
1. Giving up the natural instinct getting even.
2. Seeing those who have hurt you as God’s children too.
3. Confronting the issues and finding a creative way to set things right, not in the ‘get even’ sense but in restoring relationships where all people involved grow towards the kingdom of God.
There are no guarantees, but Matt made some new friends, and enjoyed sharing his tomatoes.

Dugald Wilson September 11 2011